The Not: a Wedding Blog From a Cussin’, Fussin’ Matrimonial Malcontent

Making fun of Jordan AKA Katie Price is as easy as breathing. Or easy as seeing people’s naked bits at Mardi Gras. Or easy as starting a flamewar on the Consumerist. Or easy as schtupping 14-year-olds at a Fundamentalist Mormon compound. Whatever, the lack of effort it takes to rag on Jordan doesn’t make it any less fun. The above is a pretty hilarious comparison. May I also add:

Come to think of it, Peter Andre does sort of look like he’d fit right in with the Lollipop Guild…

And, my personal fave:

I had this Barbie back in the day. She had gift wrap in her hair and streamers on her dress. Watch out for this bitch, she is a Party. Fukkin’. Animal. She’s such a party animal that she’s wearing the party.   Her hairdo kind of makes her look like the older sister in Sixteen Candles:

OK, I’ve got to stop this before I end up in some 80s image search k-hole.

But I do intend to keep using my Google-fu to provide you with ugly wedding dresses to snark upon in the future (oh yes, there will be more celebrities)! Tune in next week for some Quincenera Chupacabra gowns from hell! Please unleash your supressed tulle hatred in the comments!