Don’t you know you’re driving the modest-budgeted brides insane? (Yes, I’m trying to invoke Bowie, and I’m pretty sure I’m failing.) Anyway, it really is torture that I can’t afford 90% of what follows in this post, but that’s life.
When doing a post about wedding gowns I love, It’s hard to know where to begin. Because, contrary to my acidic tone on this blog, I actually like a lot of stuff. I mean, just look at Dorothy Dandridge up there in her Oscar de la Renta gown. I’ve pretty much spent my life wishing to have occasion (and funds) to wear such a dress. Unforch, my wedding is not such an occasion. But whatever. Let’s look at the pretty things after the jump.
(WARNING! This post is very long, b/c I felt like if I edited the images down any, I’d be cheating you guys. Who doesn’t love pretty dresses? Prepare to glut yourselves on the gorgeousness.)
I honestly find it shocking how often people need to be told what looks good and what doesn’t. I’m talking, of course, about the most alarming trend in the bridal world this side of baby’s breath: the Used Kleenex Dress.
Ask any bride what she went through in order to find her dress, and the answer you’ll never hear is, “I walked into a store. I saw a dress. I liked it. I bought it.” Ohhh noooo. That is not the way of it. The buying of the Dress of Your Life is never such a simple, pedestrian affair. Nay, the arrangement of one dressmaker making, one store selling, and one consumer consuming belies the epic, Melvillian odyssey that is the quest for the One. The stalking and procuring of the garment encompasses every plot conflict in the literary world: Man vs. Man (have you ever been to a bridal shop? Claws at the ready, people), Man vs. Nature (while dress hunting, it’s as if the whole world- the flora and fauna, the atmosphere, the very firmament of heaven all conspire against you), and -most assuredly, Man Vs. Himself. Or, as Disney chose to put it:
Please to be getting your sea legs on, for after the jump, we board the Good Ship Nuptualus and decend into a madness as deep as the fathoms of the Sea.
Posted in Captain Emo, Fashion, Funny, Wedding Dress, Wedding Planning
Tagged Cap'n Emo, Good Ship Nuptualus, Herman Melville, Julius Bridal, Moby Dick, Reem Acra, White Whale
Sonofabitch. The internet is a small fucking world. So, earlier this week one of my fave commenters on Jezebel, Jessicalovejoy, posts a pic of the Hostess/Twinkie/Lil’ Debbie wedding cake in the comments 5 minutes after I published the CoD: Insanity Interlude post. And now, since yesterday when I posted the wedding theme post, I’m seeing my theme ideas freaking everywhere.
One of my favorite touches from my Blush and Bashful post was the floral arrangements in tea tins thing from an old copy of Martha Stewart Weddings:
I found this weeks ugly dress while researching my Korean Wedding Customs post. I remember reading a while back that Paris Hilton had gone to Korea for god knows what, and now here’s the photo to prove it:
(Britney did it, too, and worse!)
Now, I have no real problem with the dress itself. Hanbok dresses are quite lovely. It’s the Paris part, and the Pepto pink color, that qualifies this dress. You know what else? I don’t even know why celebs have to dress in traditional clothes when they visit foreign countries. I mean, it made sense for R&B singer Amerie to do it, since her mom is Korean (though there is no excuse for how ugly that dress was), but why do all these randos have to wear hanboks? If it were me, I’d feel super-weird, which is why I’m not gonna wear a wedding hanbok at my nups.
To help scrub the image of Herpzilla: International Skank of Mystery from your minds, here’s a gallery of Hanbok done right:
Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon On Wednesday, and WE have the 1st pics of the blushing bride’s wedding dress. After the jump!
Welcome to my newest feature! I’ll be combing the Knot wedding profiles, online announcements, and magazines for people’s weddings to profile. But I can think of no better way to kick this puppy off than with a gallery of notable celebrity nuptuals:
Hand in glove